Jokes

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Jokes

Post  Firefox on Tue Dec 23, 2008 1:18 pm

Post all your jokes into this topic. at the end of each month, there is a poll for the best joke.


Here are 3 of mine:



Why did the baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.




A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.''
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.''

The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was a drunk and your mom was a prostitute?!''

The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a bus driver!''






One evening a Husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife 'Perhaps we should start washing your Clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your Butt!'

His Wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning the Husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer.
'What the Hell is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.

'April,' he hollered into the bathroom, 'why did you put Talcum Powder in my Underwear?'

She replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder, It's 'Miracle Grow!'

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St patrick's Day troubleshooting

Post  south.side.hell on Wed Dec 24, 2008 3:45 pm

SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to satisfy and the front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open when drinking or glass applied to wrong part of face.

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks hideous.
FAULT: Either you haven't had enough to drink, or they've flipped on the lights for last call.
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Sin and Shame

Post  south.side.hell on Wed Dec 24, 2008 3:49 pm

Q: What's the difference between sin and shame?

A: It's a sin to put it in, but a shame to pull it out.
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Re: Jokes

Post  south.side.hell on Wed Dec 24, 2008 4:06 pm

Yo mama so fat were in her right now
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Re: Jokes

Post  south.side.hell on Wed Dec 24, 2008 4:06 pm

Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise
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Re: Jokes

Post  south.side.hell on Wed Dec 24, 2008 4:07 pm

Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
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Re: Jokes

Post  south.side.hell on Wed Dec 24, 2008 4:07 pm

Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
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Re: Jokes

Post  south.side.hell on Wed Dec 24, 2008 4:08 pm

Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her..
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Re: Jokes

Post  south.side.hell on Wed Dec 24, 2008 4:12 pm

Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world
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Re: jokes

Post  Firefox on Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:03 am

Your Mama is so fat that when she step on the Weight Scales it says...'to be continued'...

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Jokes

Post  Firefox on Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:03 am

Your Mama is so fat that she once went on a seafood diet...whenever she saw food she ate it!

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jokes

Post  Firefox on Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:04 am

Your Mama is so fat that folk exercise by jogging around her!

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Jokes

Post  Firefox on Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:04 am

Your Mama is so fat that when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.

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Jokes

Post  Firefox on Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:05 am

Your Mama is so fat that she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy

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Post  Firefox on Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:05 am

Your Mama is so fat that NASA plans to use her to plug up the hole in the Ozone layer!

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Jokes

Post  Firefox on Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:06 am

Your Mama is so fat that small objects orbit her.

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Jokes

Post  Firefox on Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:06 am

Your Mama is so fat that she make olympic sumo wrestlers look anerixic.

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jokes

Post  Firefox on Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:06 am

Your Mama is so fat that when she farted she launched herself into orbit.

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Post  Firefox on Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:07 am

Your Mama is so fat that she lost a game at Hide&Seek only cos I spotted her...behind Mount Everest.

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Post  Firefox on Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:07 am

Your Mama is so fat that when I had to swerve to avoid hitting her on the road I ran out of Petrol!

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Post  Firefox on Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:08 am

Your Mama is so fat that the only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.

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Jokes

Post  Firefox on Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:09 am

Your Mama is so fat that her belt size is Equator.

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Post  Firefox on Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:10 am

Your Mama is so fat that her Passport photo says 'Picture is continued overleaf'

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Post  Firefox on Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:10 am

Your Mama is so fat that when she opens the Fridge it says - 'I give up...'

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Post  Firefox on Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:11 am

Your Mama is so fat that she once told me 'I could eat a horse'...believe me, she wasn't kidding!

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